This Looks Like A Job For...Golden Corral!

from Justice #7, by Jim Krueger, Alex Ross, Doug Braithwaite

Gotta Catch'em All!

PICK OF THE WEEK: Action Comics # 842 by Kurt Busiek, Fabian Nicieza, Pete Woods

The current storyline in Action Comics centers around a giant alien called the Auctioneer who's been snatching up famous monuments and putting them up for sale on some intergalactic version of eBay. This issue reeks of silver age goofiness, but it never becomes so completely ridiculous that you stop caring about the story. Besides, it gives Superman the chance display his bonafides to a world that still doubts his identity and motives.

When the Auctioneer notices the insane number of rare and collectible super beings that Earth has to offer, he decides to take advantage of this untapped market and begins kidnapping them, heroes and villains alike. Superman ends up in a cell with Skyrocket, Aquaman, Blue Jay, Livewire, and the Veteran.

Stories like this pop up every now and again in comics. Nigh omnipotent alien or villain comes along, grabs up a bunch of super beings for whatever reason. Hodge-podge group always manages to escape and put the kibosh on villain'a plans. Pretty standard.

This one kind of reminds me of an Ultra-Humanite story from JSA a few years back.As predictable as they are, I can't help but to love most of them. Don't tell anybody, but I even have a few fond memories of Secret Wars.

In Action Comics #842 we get the same basic story. All the super guys and gals are floating in some weird energy field that negates their powers. It's up to Superman and the random assortment of metas he's locked up with to save the day. Also, Nightwing and Firestorm have managed to stow away on the alien prison ship.

There's a nice little bit where everyone's standing around arguing about who's going to be in charge. Meanwhile, Superman and Nightwing have already formulated an escape plan.

Busiek and team successfully mix comedy, sci-fi, and heaps of good old fashioned super hero drama to produce one of the most entertaining Superman stories I've read since...well, since last issue. This is the kind of stuff I'd like to see in the Justice League title.

One of the coolest parts about stories like this is trying to identify all the background characters. Some of the more interesting characters I've managed to spot are what looks like a blond Zatanna (1st panel, two left from Superman), Sam Simeon (1st panel, three up and one left from Superman), and Dr. Fate(1st panel, two down and three to the right from Superman.)

Any thoughts on who the Zatanna lookalike might be? Coloring mistake, perhaps? What about Fate? I'd love to see Simeon turn up as more than just background decoration later on.

Maybe one of you guys with a more complete knowledge of DCU characters and a better set of eyes could point out some more little nuggets.

What say you oh great and powerful floating head of FDR?

His Only Weakness...

Alan Scott's always been my favorite Green Lantern . I think it has something to do with the fact that he's not always flying around the galaxy fighting aliens. I'm just not into the whole cosmic-hero thing. There's nothing wrong with Hal , John , Kyle or Guy. I just find Alan more interesting.

He's been a railroad engineer, a WWII veteran, the head of a major broadcasting company, and one of the leaders of a U.N. sanctioned covert operations agency, not to mention a founding member of the JSA. Freakin' Superman comes to this guy for advice! He's been called the elder statesman of the DC universe. He even managed to spawn a couple of mega powerful super brats along the way. Plus, you gotta admit, the eye patch is pretty bitchin'.


Another thing that's cool about him is that, unlike some other Lanterns I could mention, he still has his trademark vulnerability. In my mind this has always put him in the same league as Superman. You know, the "this guy's so awesome there's only, like, this one substance that can totally mess him up" kind of powerful. That being said, I find it incredibly goofy that the he can be taken out by a splinter. Incredibly goofy is alright though. I happen to like incredibly goofy.

And it's a good thing, too, because I've decided to make my way through every single issue of All-Star Squadron over the course of the next two weeks. Besides the sheer juvenile fun of getting to catalog all my All-Star Squadron picture files in a folder labeled "ASS", I get to post panels where Alan Scott gets taken out by

a piece of driftwood

a stick

and a ventriloquist dummy

Filed Under "T" for Transgender Vigilante Canines

Dwayne "the canoe guy," of the Hexcellent Matching Dragoons site , has posted the following panel as his Weekly Wonderous Moment in Comics.

He then challlenges us in the blogosphere to offer our own interpretation of what exactly Batman finds so hilarious. So open up your image manipulation software and get cracking! Here's mine-

Swipe the Swiper!

from Detective Comics #31, Art by Bob Kane

from All-Star Squadron #24, Tribute Art by Jerry Ordway and Mike Machlan

Don't Ever Let Anybody Tell You Smoking Isn't Cool

From Chimpan-A to Chimpan-Z

Fun for Drunken Comic Book Geeks!

I've been playing around with Heromachine lately. For those of you who don't know, it allows the artistically challenged to create their own super-heroes by placing a bunch of predrawn pieces together to form a completely new character. Very similar in spirit to one of the best toys ever- the Mighty Men and Monster Maker. Except without the colored pencils.

Just for shits and giggles I tried hitting the random button and discovered it's a helluva lot more fun this way. If you're looking for some good dumb fun, try it out. As with so many stupid pastimes, it's always better with a group. When your multicolored abomination of a character is finished see who can give it the most appropriate name and backstory. You're guaranteed minutes of fun!

Here are just a few of the hideous beings I created with the mere push of a button.

Now the only thing left to do is name the freaks and give them amusing mini-origins. Maybe you guys can help me out.

*It looks like a few people have given this little game a whirl. Jonni, curator of the High Velocity Super Disco gives us a lovely origin for the crazy Mohawk dude while Erich, of the Fish Flavored Baseball Bat , presents a few of his own freakish heroes for your consideration.

Just a Few of the Reasons Why I Like Comics

Murderous shapeshifters

from Uncle Sam & The Freedom Fighters #1

Pantsless professors

from The All-New Atom #2

Kung Fu chainsaw shark fights

from Shaolin Cowboy #6

All's Well That Ends Well

I love how in most of these old EC stories, you can pretty much tell exactly what happened from reading the last panel. When they don't just outright repeat the entire story, there's always an alien or psychopathic killer ready to beat you over the head with whatever moral or suprise plot twist you might not have seen coming from a mile away.

"Oh no! You mean the delicious stew we've been eating is made from the chopped up remains of that hobo I murdered and stuffed in the freezer two pages ago?!! Dear God!!

or

"Had the small-minded Earthlings realized that the flesh devouring tentacle-monsters were in fact a peaceful race, World War III would never have happened."

Y'know, that sort of thing. Anyway, here are some of my favorite EC endings.

Filed Under "P" for Phallic...

from Doom Patrol #88, by Arnold Drake and Bruno Premiani

* I'm pretty sure I've seen this panel posted on someone else's blog before. Can anyone help me out here?

EDIT: Looks like Chris of Invincible Super-Blog fame already beat me to this one. In a much better post, no less.

Damn you Sims!! Revenge will be mine!...Mine I tell you...Mine!... *Ahem*

And much thanks to Steven for the find.

Because I Couldn't Wait 'Til Then...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

And For Absolutely No Reason Whatsoever...

A Random Assortment of Creepy, Floating Heads.

YAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Memophiliac

My variation on a meme found at Comics Oughta Be Fun and started by Beaucoupkevin .

Go here to make your own.

EC Endings Thursday Presents:

Wha...Huh?

What horrible events do YOU imagine led up to this bizarre moment?

from Weird Science #14, "They Shall Inherit" by Al Feldstein, Joe Orlando, and Marie Severin

Just Sit Back and Relax

No matter how boring or poorly constructed a story might have been, the EC guys usually made up for it in those last few panels. I thought I'd kick off what's sure to be at least a week's long worth of EC related posts with one of my favorite endings ever. Bad pun included.

from Shock SuspenStories #6 -"Not So Tough!" by Al Feldstein, Joe Orlando and Marie Severin

All Creatures Great & Small

And an especially disturbing find from our scaly friend Sleestak -

Only Valid On Earth-L

Because No One Demanded It!

from Weird Science #16 and Incredible Science Fiction #30

Flash Thompson: Modern Day Nostradamus?

from Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #11

I Hope You're Not On a Diet

I have it on good authority that today is the birthday of The Invincible Super-Blog's very own Chris Sims . I couldn't figure out how to e-mail you a cake, so you'll have to make your own. This might help though.


Happy Birthday!

Everything You Need to Know...

about why the Joker's cool and Robin sucks.

In just two panels.

Dear Diary...

I found a wonderful blank panel at Mike Sterling's Progressive Ruin after visiting Ragnell's Written World and seeing her contribution . What would Tom Kalmaku write in his Green Lantern casebook?

Thought I'd give it a try. It's my first experiment with something more complex than MS Paint.

The Batman Says...

Wow... It seems like you guys have quite a few ideas as to what's floating around inside Bruce's punch-addled brain. The funny has been brought by all. In addition to all the hilarious suggestions, a few people even took up the challenge of creating their own versions. Jake over at Ye Olde Comick Booke Blogge , Chris at the Invincible Super Blog , Other Chris from 2 Guys Buying Comics ,Diamond Rock of Title Undetermined , Jon at Hypnoray , Nala over at Naladahc , Mark at Focused Totality , Michael at The Silent Accomplice , Kanto of Kanto-Gamer , Damo over at Scribbling Around the Edge , Pepp over at Pepcomics , the mighty The Fortress Keeper ,Ragnell over at the Written World , Vincent at Spandex Justice , Bully from Comics Oughta Be Fun , Dorian over at Postmodernbarney , West at A Question of Semantics , Gordon at Blog This, Pal , Erich over at Fish-Flavored Baseball Bat , Mike Sterling of Progressive Ruin fame, Sleestak from Lady, That's My Skull , Dan Kelly , Andrew over at Die, Hipster, Die , Jack Ketch , Chip over at Ch-Chandler's World , Harvey Jerkwater from Filing Cabinet of the Damned , and Hatgirl have all entered the fray. Dr. K, friend of the ISB, is presently blogless, but sends along two examples which can be found here and here .

Looking at these things reminded of those old See 'N Say toys. You know, the ones where you pull the string and the spinning arrow lands on a picture of some farm animal and you hear, "THE COW SAYS MOO."

So in the spirit of that fondly remembered toy, I present the first post, of what I hope to be a series, featuring the disturbing fruit of your twisted minds-

Anonymous Says-

Bat-Mite Says-

Sara J. Says-

Jonni Says

Greg Says-

Steven Says-

Dwayne Says-

Googum Says-

Bat Blank

While reading Detective Comics #87, I saw this panel and it creeped me out for some reason. I really don't like the look on Bruce's face. In fact, I find it down right disturbing. There's something unwholesome about the way he's arched his eyebrow when he says "umbrellas."

In the context of the story this panel makes sense. Sort of. Bruce and Dick are relaxing at the beach when the subject of the Penguin, and how to smoke him out of hiding, comes into play. Bruce's brilliant idea is to ride around on a horse drawn umbrella-repair cart and just wait for their avian adversary to show his face.

Anyway, I thought the thing would be perfect for a little digital tomfoolery. An easy one too. I'd just have to replace the word "umbrellas" with something A) obscene, or B) nonsensical. Then presto!- comedy gold!

The only trouble is that I seem to find just about any word works when placed in that bubble. "Nachos" seems to work just as well as "Boobies." I can't make my mind up. Too many possibilities. That's where you, my fellow bloggers, come in.

Help me fill in the blank. I want to know what words you guys think would work especially well. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to give me as many alternatives to "umbrellas" as you can think of. The weirder the better. I'll then try and make as many alternate versions as possible. It'd be even cooler if any of you can take it and make a version to post on your own site.

The Joker is So Cool...

that when he smokes-

he exhales
Giant Green Smoke Skulls of Death!!

Robin Hates Your Junk

Marvel as Dick Grayson does his part to keep the criminal population down!

Thrill as he destroys utterly both a man's testes and his dignity with but a mere tire to the groin and a barbed comment!

Tremble as his mighty fist plunges deep into the crotch of the criminal cabal!

Gaze in Awe at his ingenious weaponization of cheap furniture!

Amaze as he sends thug after thug to the intensive care ward of Our Lady of Gotham!

A Sociopath in Little Green Shorts and Elf Boots

I've spent most of the last week reading the first hundred or so issues of Detective Comics. I don't recommend it to the timid or faint of heart. The side effects have been revealing, though. Besides the nightly dreams where I solve most of my problems by punching people through windows to their deaths, I've developed what I assume to have been a previously dormant hatred of the Boy Wonder. Before, he was just vaguely annoying. Now I can't stop picturing a blood covered crowbar whenever I see the smug little creep.

Disagree?

I believe the evidence backs me up-

No wonder the Joker is fixated on murdering the little brat.

If that guys not dead, at the very least he's gonna need years of painful of physical therapy.

Faster, Batman! Kill! KIll!

His Safeword is Aardvark

The Joker is Cool Because...

He will not hesitate to bitch-slap you with his man-purse.

When the World Never Seems to Be Livin Up to Your Dreams...

originally from Detective Comics #120

Hush Still Lives!