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Saturday, October 14, 2006

This Book Could Save Your Life

Just go to page 73 for instructions on how to deal with a berserk Cricketron. It turns out that Cricketrons made from 1997 through 2003 have defective T27 zero-point energy modules that may cause the vehicle to function erratically in prolonged combat situations.

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Because the T27 is sensitive to heat, its mounting location creates an inordinate propensity for it to fail due to thermal stress. The repair steps are pretty easy. Simply adjust the aft Boltzmann compensators for dual output and reduce the power to your disintegrator ray battery by at least 20%. This should clear up any problems right away.

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11 Comments:

Blogger Chris Sims said...

Brandon, this thing is excellent, but I've got an older-model War Wheel with a malfunctioning gyroscope, which means I can only wreak untold havok in a small circle.

Can you help?

10/14/2006 11:07 AM

 
Blogger SallyP said...

I MUST have one! So handy for dropping the kids off at achool. Impress your friends!

10/14/2006 1:08 PM

 
Blogger Brandon said...

Chris: I'm pretty sure you can have the gyroscope replaced for free. You might want to have the intake manifold looked at too. I hear that's a big problem on the older models. Just contact the fine people at Volkswagon.

Those Nazi mad scientists were some evil dudes, but they sure knew how to guarantee the shit out of their doomsday devices.

Sally: You'll probably be wanting the extended cab model. Due out early '07 I think.

10/14/2006 3:01 PM

 
Blogger Ragnell said...

I've seen that book. Important to know: Instructions work as written for every model except the 420-50C Pulverizer (the one I happen to have) where the multidex flange is on the left side of the thoracial induction monitor. Everything else is the same, but you'll have to adjust the steps to accomodate this.

10/14/2006 7:50 PM

 
Blogger Brandon said...

That's good to know. I've had my eye on a 420 for quite some time now. What kind of mileage do you get? I had to fill my old 310 up,like, twice a week.

10/14/2006 9:30 PM

 
Blogger The Fortress Keeper said...

The software patches I downloaded never quite did the trick. That's why I traded in my cricketron for one of the Red Skull's old Sleeper robots.

They cause untold havoc, as long as you don't bump into Captain America. Then they're toast.

10/14/2006 11:16 PM

 
Blogger Brandon said...

Plus I hear they're very eco-friendly.

10/15/2006 3:33 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your problem is that you're trying to use that damn ethanol in a rig that was squarely meant to run on french fry oil.

Can't teach you kids anything. I buy you books & I buy you books & all you do is eat the covers.

10/15/2006 6:24 PM

 
Blogger Brandon said...

But they're so delicious. And full of fiber.

10/15/2006 9:32 PM

 
Blogger Ragnell said...

Brandon -- It's even WORSE! and it doesn't work in extreme cold weather, either. It may look ncie, but underneath its a cheap pile of junk.

10/18/2006 2:47 AM

 
Blogger Brandon said...

I'm gonna make sure I get the extended warranty when I buy that sucker. Thanks for the warning.

10/18/2006 7:44 PM

 
Anonymous Viagra said...

thanks for the info. it is always good to stay informed on things like this.

7/07/2011 4:23 PM

 

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