Lower Great Plains of the Apes
Armed Gorilla Week continues as we take a look at the awesomeness that is Jack Kirby's Kamandi the Last Boy on Earth .
First of all, I can't say how disappointed I am that my home city of Louisville doesn't appear to fall within the borders of the Gorilla Communes. I guess I should just thank my lucky stars the U.S.N.Y.R.N. didn't expand any further. Damn East Coast Aquatic Liberal Rats!
First of all, I can't say how disappointed I am that my home city of Louisville doesn't appear to fall within the borders of the Gorilla Communes. I guess I should just thank my lucky stars the U.S.N.Y.R.N. didn't expand any further. Damn East Coast Aquatic Liberal Rats!
Those of you lucky enough to live in the Gorilla Communes after the Great Cataclysm will no doubt be wondering, "what sort of weaponry will our Gorilla masters use to subjugate us?" Good question. The Gorilla warlords of the future will have a vast and varied arsenal including, but not limited toPistols (uh...I think)
"Minimum Strike" Sticks
Whips
Good Ole' Beatin' Clubs
Mortars
Rifles
Sonic Death Rays
Armored Personnel Carriers
Gorilla Catapults
Gatling Guns
Dynamite Launchers
"Demolition Dumplings"
posted by Brandon Bragg at 6:37 PM
12 Comments:
OMG That mortar gorilla ripped the head off the robot from Short Circuit
9/18/2006 10:43 PM
Great. Unless California has gone six feet under after the Great Disaster, I live near the Lion Tribes and Pueblo builders.
I don't think either of those "powers" have Demolition Dumplings, consarn it!
9/19/2006 3:14 AM
What are they hiding under all those hats?
9/19/2006 7:33 AM
It's a well known fact that male pattern baldness strikes 3 out of every 4 gorillas over the age of 25.
9/19/2006 7:38 AM
As someone who finds himself on the edge of the Gorilla Communes, I can honestly say that I, for one, welcome our new ape overlords.
9/19/2006 10:18 AM
Well, Oklahoma appears to be smack dab in the middle of this wonderful gorilla-festation and I say that we welcome it with long knuckle dragging arms.
After all, they're obviously doing all the work that humans won't do. Oh, wait, that was in the Planet movies. Sorry, my bad.
PS, your bloomin monkey comment made me snort with laughter. I will have my revenge.
9/19/2006 2:14 PM
Dwayne: Alas, poor Johnny-Five! I knew him, Dwayne...I - What?!! Revenge?!! I'd think twice about threatening me, buddy! I'll sell you out to our new Gorilla overlords in less time than it takes you to blink!
Keeper: Ha! With those lousy peaceniks defending your borders, you're sure to succumb to the mighty Gorilla hordes. Might as well just surrender now.
Dweeze: If you know what's good for you, you'll start memorizing recipes for banana cream pies. Gorillas love that shit!
9/19/2006 4:35 PM
blink blink
blink
blink
hmm, I haven't been sold out yet. I think you have some bold talk for a sandwich munching teleporter firmly entrenched in the Expanding Tiger Empire.
9/19/2006 5:11 PM
(whispers)
shhh...that's just supposed to make me sound good in case they're listening in. just play along.
*AHEM*
LIKE I WAS SAYING - ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY GORILLAS, THOSE WHO OPPOSE THEM WILL BE SENT TO THE BANANA GROVES TO WORK UNTIL DEATH!!
9/19/2006 6:40 PM
blink
Wha? Where am I?
9/19/2006 7:58 PM
Dang, I grew up in that charred bit north-east of the NY Rats, but now I'm save in the Devil Zone.
9/20/2006 10:02 AM
Jon: Be careful, those human herds are like fucking locusts.
They'll wander over and deplete your Maple syrup reserves in less time than it takes Dwayne to blink.
9/20/2006 2:07 PM
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