Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Toxic Relationships of the Golden Age

The other day I happened upon a reprinted golden age Manhunter story that was featured as a back up in an issue of New Gods. After reading it, I can say with great confidence that, much like Superman, golden age Manhunter was a huge dick.

Our story begins at the natural history museum where Paul Kirk is showing socialite Ellen Drake his latest trophy kills. After the baby seal exhibit fails to impress, it's on to the big game. . .

Yeesh! He must have shot him in the face a couple of times. That's, hands down, the ugliest tiger I've ever seen. It's wall-eyed for god's sake! I'm also pretty sure it must have been suffering from some sort of gigantism of the head before it died. Well, it's obvious to me that either Mr. Kirk gets his jollies by hunting down and killing handicapped animals, or he's just got the world's worst taxidermist.

After Ellen's wealthy father gets killed later that day by the Tiger mob during a botched jewel heist, Ellen begs Paul to hunt down the men responsible. He blows her off and she vows to get revenge herself. How does she go about tracking down one of the city's most notoriously cruel crimebosses? What genius plan does she enact to ensnare the fiend? . . .

Being the hero's girlfriend in a golden age story all but guarantees her capture. Her being incredibly stupid doesn't help things much either. And, after punching some thugs in the face and throwing some dude off a bridge, Manhunter's on the trail!

Mmm. . . Bullets. . .

Huh. Car pooling. I guess he really does care about the environment.

He's still a dick though. As proven by the following scene.

Her father's been murdered. She's got to be feeling mighty stupid for getting captured. She's tied up and helpless. But that's not enough. No. Manhunter has to humiliate her even further by leaving her for the police to find.

Wow. . . Those two really deserve each other, don't they.

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